Facing Fear 11/28/15

       There is no suc-cess without pain.  Sometimes progress means little sleep. At times, there is no time to eat.  It re-quires denying ourselves, pushing beyond our limits.

       We can't become the person we want to be by remaining the way we are. "Success depends not merely in how well we do the things we enjoy, but in how conscientiously we perform the duties that we don't."  John Maxwell, Developing the Leader Within You.

       Tonight required every ounce of me.  The evening was good. Fear was faced.  Big time.  My heart pumped wildly.

       It felt as if I was at the end of a seven mile run.  I could barely breathe.  Tak-ing the next step without analyzing, is what I did.  I was present.

       More than twenty calls, I made.  This is part of my Sacramento training.  Donations for a good cause I sought.  Eighteen calls were with people I did not know.  The responses were beyond my imagin-ation.

     Every. Person. Said. Yes.  I was stunned. Earlier, I had visions of quitting, giving up.  I thought of bailing out in the last mile of this four month training marathon.  I felt like throwing away all the hard work I've done, wasting the thousands of miles I traveled to Sacra-mento.

      No way could I accom-plish this assignment. That was my mental chatter. I was certain.  I was also cer-tainly wrong.

       Being exhausted, coupled with a migraine headache didn't help.  Fear crippled me.  Feelings of failure overwhelmed me.  I was sunk beneath a pile of negative feelings.  That's when the value of living within a caring community kicked in.

       It helped me spit out the dust of despair. I was gulping it down when sprawled on the ground of despair.
 

       Stuart.

       My upward progress started with a phone call.  I spoke with a friend of more than three decades.  He pulled me out of a pit.  He joked with me, raising me out of my darkened mind.

       He didn't shame me.  He overlooked my cow-ardice, my doubts in trusting the process.

       "Just make the calls," Stuart said.  "That's all you have to do.  That's the hard work.  It does not matter the response you get.  Pablo, you haven't asked me.

       You haven't told me what you want."

       His encourage-ment was sunshine after a storm.  He helped grow my confidence.  Gradu-ally, I overcame the terror I felt.  The smile in his voice lifted my attitude.

       I took a deep breath. My heart pounded as I asked, "Stuart, I am involved with fund raising. Would it be possible for you to help?"
 

         The words barely left my lips, when he replied.  "Yes, Pablo.  I will provide two items the silent auction. I will donate money too, towards the food for the dinner."

         What planet did he come from??  The planet of compas-sion. Demons of apprehension that had tormented me fled. Because of Stuart. Support received from a dear friend.  The encouragement of a loved-filled community enabled me to climb the cliff of fear that overwhelmed me.

         The curtains to my house were shut today.  No light was let in.  I was in a dark space.  Not only physically, but emotionally.  Gripped with anxiety, I was paralyzed mentally.

         I was surrounded in a dark cloud bank of fear.  With Stuart's help, not only did the storm clouds part.  I was given the beginnings of hope.

         It would not have happened if I had isolated.  If I had not called him.  When our conversation finished, he gave me telephone numbers to use for the night's task.  My encouragement was strengthened as the night progressed.  I was unexpectedly embraced by a caring community.

         I was moved by these strangers I called.  Stuart went through the training I am going through. The numbers he gave were of past members who have had the same experience.  They cheered me on when I asked for a donation.  Gladly they gave more than I expected.

         "You will reach your goal!" they told me.  Smiles beamed through the phone as they spoke.  Each was eager to help.  The success I had tonight was the result of wrenching my guts.  At first.  I pushed beyond my fear.

         I reached out for help.  Because of the support I received, I feel like birds flying high.  Like the sun in the sky.  Like the breeze drifting by or a blossom on a tree.  It is a new dawn, a new day, a new life.
   
         I'm  Feeling Good!  You might want to Listen to the song below.  It expresses how I feel now.

Gratitudes: 
1.  I was invited by an author to write a chapter for an anthology on gratitude.  I need to follow through with this opportunity. She wants to use what I've written here. I love opportunities to spread the healing, life-giving power of gratitude.
2.  For the results of calls made tonight.  It didn't happen by my power. Success tonight was the result of being bathed in a community of sup-port.  Stuart, a long-term friend encouraged me.

     The people I enlisted for help were kind, understanding.
3. Someone I didn't even think of, texted me. She asked what she could donate. Wow!  Before I even made a request, this kind, sensitive woman, who found out what I was doing tonight, approached me.  I was humbled and overjoyed simultaneously.  Thank you, Debbi.
4.  I am thankful tonight I overcame fear.  It slowly happened while dialing for donations.  With each additional "yes" my confidence and hope grew.
5.  I am a professional listener.  Tonight, three wonderful people lent me their ear.  It felt good, nurturing and satisfying my soul, pouring out what was bubbling within.  I was happy these three, Stuart, Teresa and Tony, cared enough to listen.  It was terrific, the roles reversed.  I took care of me by asking for their attention.

      I asked for what I wanted.  Just like the phone calls made tonight.

How About You? 
What are your gratitudes for today?

May you have a great and grateful Sunday!