Giving You A Peek At My Work ........2/15/13

“All growth depends upon activity. There is no 

development physically or intellectually  [or

characterologically] without effort, and effort

 means work.”       Calvin Coolidge

        Hello everyone,
 
I hope you had a great week.  Here we are.  It's Friday.  

        Sonny, welcome to the inn.  Thank you for becoming the latest to subscribe as a follower.  I wish you
many pleasant stays here, at the Attitude of Gratitude Inn!

        Let me know how I can make your stay enjoyable.  You can voice a subject you might want us to discuss.  You have the support of the Innkeeper and the Assistant Innkeeper.

........

         I received news tonight that someone I know died.  I saw her when I spoke three weeks ago in Castro Valley.  She wasn't that old. Wow, she's gone.

....... 

        Early this morning, an annoying irritation woke me.  This, after going to be late. I made it through the day, but I'm feeling the lack of sleep as I pen this.  

 ......

        I want to share with guests to this inn some of what I cover with clients.  Right now, my brain is tired.  This is what I have to offer now.

        1. My clients the past few weeks have been focusing on not accepting unacceptable behavior.  The next time one of them finds herself in conflict with her spouse, while they are both in the car, and she's driving, she is going to pull over to the curb.  She will let her husband know she will not accept unacceptable behavior and step out of the car. 

        If he wants to take off without her, as long as she's in a safe place, so be it.  She'll hail a cab.  Key for her is that she will state her opinion calmly.  

        No drama will be used, no raised voices, no hateful stares or words. She will let the truth of her comment be all the oomph she needs to make her point.  She will say her "no" as gently as her "yes."  

        Wow, kudos for her.  She will no longer be mortified by his angry behavior.  There's value when someone decides to stand for their dignity. We many not be able to control our circumstances, but we can control how we respond to them.

        2. Many clients are learning how to make requests, yet doing so with with courtesy and kindness. The art of emotional maturity is learning how to adhere to our values while simultaneously being kind towards others.  We can stand for ourselves without standing against our fellows. We get what we tolerate.

        Instead of using obsessive control, clients are learning how to say what they mean, mean what they say, without saying it meanly. 

        3.  Some of those who see me are re-evaluating how they perceive themselves.  Many of the curses they endured in childhood are now being seen for what they were: the utterances of parents and authority figures who were emotionally intoxicated. 

        Just as we disregard the spoutings of someone inebriated----not to take the words personally----those who visit me are using the same perspective when evaluating hateful and unfortunate comments said by parents and/or others who were in the grips of their own pain. 

        To bring this post full circle, those I see are learning to say to the verbally abusive, "I will not accept unacceptable behavior."   It's not easy----at first.  Anything worth learning requires effort.  It wasn't natural learning the multiplication table, either, as a kid.  But, with effort, it is now a part of us. We don't even think when multiplying five by five. 

        Same holds true with applying healthy relational principles that are fertilizer for our characterological growth.  With time, it gets easier.  We also become stronger.  And when that happens, we have a greater Attitude of Gratitude. 

         Have a terrific weekend,