How are you?
Yes, I'm here early. Please get over your shock. :) The weather feels and looks like it's Fall: overcast, windy, chilly. I'm going to make some grub and
then head out to ride for an hour and a half before it gets dark.
This evening, I'm on a mission. Finding lagoons that I was unable to come across last night, is my goal. My map says they are there, in the Harbor Bay area of Alameda . Unfortunately, I rode without my map last night, I ventured forth intuitively. It was an adventure, but a bit futile, but it was futility combined with exploration---I discovered parts of Harbor Bay that I never saw before. And I had fun.
Okay, this is Saturday. Something I like doing at the end of the week is asking what were your highs and lows for the week, what you liked best and the least.
I'll start:
High point: I received amazing support from several who are my Balcony People. I've been writing a lot. I faced my fears. I broke down huge tasks and made them manageable. I was gentle, and did not condemn myself because of some problems that are piling up. With hindsight, I can always see where I could have done something better. The fact is that I have been living my well exactly as I should.
Life simply happens. We get kicked in the gut, on occasion. It's not a statement about us. We don't need to personalize it. Growing up with harsh or abusive or emotionally unavailable parents, it's easy to treat ourselves with the scorn or emotional remoteness we experienced as a kid.
Not a good deal.
I'm thankful for being lovingly realistic, not thrashing myself. I'm thankful for the sense I have of being lovable and worthwhile. I get this sense of being loved from the support I receive from God and my dear friends, my Balcony People.
Low Point: I'm facing many pressures and disappointments. I'm glad for what I've learned about disappointments. Even though others may have caused them, it's my responsibility to deal with them. To make my happiness contingent upon others changing their behavior or values is to surrender my happiness to people who may not have the consciousness, nor the ability to respond as I would like.
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Many of you know I treat these posts like lasagna. Drop by tomorrow and you'll see this post re-cooked an improved. But this is what I could offer in the twelve minutes I alloted to share these thoughts.
I'm proud of so many of you who drop by. It's definitely inspiring hearing how you are moving forward with your life. Remember, I love when you post three gratitudes. Would it be possible for you to do that? I'm just asking.........
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4 comments:
HIGH POINTS (several) I will LIMIT it to seven for you
1. PLaying in a hurricane machine at Millwoods mall, screaming and NOT CARING what others think
2. Took myself for a facial - this acne HAS to go - I am 32 for goodness sake.
3. Rode my cruiser bike and made friends with Kane who is going to teach me guitar.
4. FINALLY buying a longboard and not being afraid of falling - I FELL on my tush
5. Praying every day, often with family and friends - BEAUTIFUL
6. My daily mediations that softly rock my brain to sleep in this HIGH state I am in.
7. I am thankful that many years ago my grandfather bought and FAUGHT for this cabin by the lake to give his grandchildren the PEACE they DESERVE - he was a cop. A GOOD cop. The BEST. I miss him.
Negative points (I will put three)
- Talking SO MUCH about a BOY when I should be focused on my healing.
- PLaying and fooling around when I SHOULD by doing my thesis
- Talking to EVERYONE about my childhood - LEAVE IT ALONE already. The past is the PAST!! My Mom gets annoyed by me - a bit.
Hello Pablo,
My HIGH POINTS for the week;
1. Getting new handlebar grips for my mountain bike, and graciously resolving a repair issue with a benevolent repair person; a big relief.
2. Riding by the bay over 15 miles (longest yet) at an average speed of 14 miles per hour (fastest yet) for over an hour, without huffing and puffing, as in the recent past.
3. Resolving (for now) an issue at work with my new (tough-guy persona) boss.
4. Successfully completing my first 100+ mile,solo sales call trip (in my new work role) to Sonoma, St. Helena and Napa to call on executive chefs at high-end sushi, and Michelin 3 Star restaurants.
5. Realizing by being myself, naturally, I can build an even better relationship with some of these chefs than my predecessor. Age and experience can trump hot-shot youth and product knowledge!
6. Falling asleep at the gym in the wet-steam sauna, after having first swum 24 laps, and then having melted the weeks stress away in the Jacuzzi. Swim, Jacuzzi, Sauna, and then plop back into the (what then feels like freezing cold water) pool, and sink momentarily to the bottom. The pool dunk sucks every last ounce of negative energy out of me, and I emerge from the pool like a happy but well drained wet noodle, to collapse on a chaise lounge to nap. Folks, if you try this regimen, you'll never go back to the couch!
7. Playing a very moving song I hadn't heard for a while, while driving and crying (with my sunglasses on...).
LOW POINTS:
A. Sheer exhaustion after my marathon 12 hour road trip, work day.
B. Obsessing about the somewhat rocky start my new boss and I got off to over an unrealistic expensive fish donation I'd promised a client, with assumed, but without proper advance clearance or preparation. Oops!
C. Eating too much good Mexican Food on Wednesday night! Need to go back to the 1/2 portions!
D. Grocery shopping for my 87 year old mom, off of her list, in a new Safeway store where I have absolutely no idea where stuff is. Trying to figure out that a package of "Nabisco brand, Chocolate, Cream-filled Sandwich Cookies" are actually "OREO's," for goodness sakes! I actually had to call her to clarify that! Maybe its me who is getting old?
Dear Vanessa,
Lol! I'm glad you had a ball in the hurricane machine. You let your inner child loose, good for you!
Don't worry about your face---it's just delayed puberty. :) How did you meet Kane, you have my curiosity.
Good to hear you're developing your spiritual muscles. We are as strong spiritually as we are in our prayer. I hope life calms down, providing more serenity, les euphoria.
I'd love hearing more about your grandfather. He must have had a huge impact on you, and your family.
A boy? That's interesting. Thanks for your honesty about your thesis. There, you said it, I hope you get support as you tackle your academics.
I'll save what I have to say about the past for another time. Remind me.
Wishing you a terrific week,
The Innkeeper
Dear Carl,
Your high points and Vanessa's are really gratitudes in disguise. Thanks for sharing them.
I bet you feel good, seeing that your cycling is getting easier, you are becoming more fit!
Kudos to you for your great sales call. I'm happy you are relieving the stress built up within you. It also sounds like you may becoming a thinner, wet noodle, with the increase in your workouts and bike riding.
The slogan "Let Go and Let God" helps, I bet, when interacting with your boss.
Your mom is fortunate having a loving son who serves her, as you do. Thank you, for dropping by, and your comments!
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