The Power and Value of Exercising Boundaries---We Discover the Truth About Others ................... 7/15/22

   O'Connor said she did not know what to say until she wrote. I'm  like  Flannery  O'Connor  again.   I sometimes take on her habit when writ-ing for this  positive   place in cyber-space.     

    I write because I have no choice.  My thoughts cry out for release.  I am mentally constipated when I do not scribe.                                  

     Seeing thoughts birthed, and taking shape through words satisfies the soul of any writer. Like Tolstoy-- although I am certainly not of his caliber--every time I scribe, some of my blood remains in the inkwell.

***

      Since my last post, I encountered betrayal and disap-pointment. 

    Am I disturbed?  Heavens no. Joy fills my soul.  I prefer reality. 

    Being in tune with life requires connecting with the truth. I had mentored, trained, nurtured, and helped someone, sometimes three times a week. 

   This went on for five years.  However, in late May, he tossed our relationship aside like a used Kleenex tissue.  This happened when he realized he would not get more information and training from me.

    I am thankful for his response. 

This happened when I set a boundary and stood for my values. 

      I could no longer train him.  Our working relation-ship needed to end, I told him.  Like a lightning flash, he ejec-ted me out of his life. 

     This the response of any narcissist.  They discard others when they are no longer of use.  As the egg-shaped poster above states, a self-absorbed, controlling person does not respect boundaries.  I did not realize he was a narcissist until I witnessed his response. 

    Until then, I was misled by his charm while he wrested the information and training he got from me.  When the spigot was turned off,  I saw his true nature. 

     Maya Angelou's statement: "When someone shows you who they are, [even though it might take five years] believe them the first time" came to mind after seeing his response. 

     Beginning in June, a new season started.  Life requires ongoing pruning.  My peace of mind got damaged in May when relating to this former mentee.

     The answer to this problem required letting go.  Afterward, I did a happy dance and cartwheels of joy.  

     Trying times become positive when we apply Q-tips. This tool helps us have greater peace of mind. It stands for Quit taking it person-ally." 

     Guaranteed greater peace of mind when we use Q-tips. 

     What motivated my decision?  He said he no longer invested in person-al study in late May.  He had no time. 

    He was too busy helping others. In truth, he craved adulation and attention, something lacking in his childhood. 

     He did not want to develop his abilities.  He preferred guiding vul-nerable people using material from others.  When we pass on what we do not apply and absorb in our lives, we offer substance without form, leaves without roots.

     Years, days, and hours I spent with this man.   I now see his desire was gather-ing my ideas and use them when working with others.  

     There was no regard for me as a person.  I lacked awareness of his motives and insensitivity.  I was simply a supply of information for him. 

    In the first week of June, I learned I lacked judgment about someone I mentored.  It was no big deal.  I know I am imperfect. 

    I make mistakes all the time.  I've forgiven myself.  I am overjoyed my learning curve has jumped ahead; I am getting better. 

    My discovery in May was encouraging.  My discernment was improving.  You know I am the Attitude of Gratitude guy, an optimist. 

The optimist sees the opportunity in every problem,          the pessimist sees the problem in every opportunity. 

                                                                      Winston Churchill