Emotional Resiliency, Part IV..................... 4/5/12

        Time has sped by since the last post on emotional resiliency.

        Links for previous posts on this subject are at the end of tonight's post. Here we go...
Emotionally Resilient People.....
10.  Do not live in isolation.

       They know how to reach out for support.  They know who to approach for the help needed.  When caught in drama, it's hard having an accurate perspective.

        Often, enmeshed---we are---with anxiety when lacking recovery and facing a crisis.  Rationalizing and catastrophizing is an easy default mode. During these times, it's important to develop our circle of Safe People or Balcony People.

       We connect with them, letting them know we don't want advice.  Safe friends---offer a listening ear.  They offer support without advice when it is not sought.

     If we express our needs with others, there is a chance that things will improve.  If we don't, there is a ZERO chance of things improving. (Courage to Change, p139)

       Resilient people are proactive in getting help.  I had a dog, Pepe.  He was my favorite pet.  Smart and sweet he was.

       He adored me and I, him.  But when he went under the couch, I did not put my hand under it.  No way.

       My loving dog became a Tasmanian devil.  Pepe would snarl, growl, snapping at my hand.  Pepe would bite any fingers venturing under that settee.

   

      Resiliency is re-sisting the urge to isolate like my for-mer dog.  We connect with others.  It makes us emotion-ally healthy.

        Letting others in on what is alive with-in us, be it good or bad, is critical for our mental health.  Research from Sweden reveals those with deep connections live longer, too.

11.  Resilient People Are Flexible.

        A self-evident truth: we become the person we want to be, by embracing improvements, change.  Many know the Serenity Prayer.  It reflects this attitude.  We change the things we can, accepting the things we can't, asking God for the wisdom to know the difference.
     

       Now, here's the surprise.  Accept-ance does not mean acceptance, as we normally consider it.  No, acceptance is about seeing the situation and then considering what steps we can take.  So acceptance is not passivity.

        Our perception of reality is often inaccurate.  Emotions are not prophecies. Often they are affected by our interpretation of what we perceive.

        We see reality more clearly, the more we grow characterologically.  Knowing our feelings do not necessarily represent reality emboldens us.  It give us the faith needed to surmount the challenges we face.

How About You? 
What provides you with emotional resiliency?  I'd love hearing your thoughts on this matter.

     Soon, I will write the final ingredient that makes people resilient. Right now, I need to get to bed.  I have the most important appointment of the entire week, in the morning.
            I'll see you Sunday,

                Pablo

Related Posts: 
Emotional Resiliency, Part I,    3/11/14

Emotional Resiliency, Part II   3/12/14

Emotional Resiliency, Part III 3/18/14