Riding cloud nine, I am.I don't think I have been happier. A week ago today, at 10:30 p.m., I broke my wrist. The pain has not ceased. It affects my sleep and drains me physically. But the wonderful relationships in my life make it
richer. To the point that these connections with others help me transcend pain. I am filled with a peace of mind and soul that is beyond comprehension or circumstances.
Joy fills every corner of my being, despite severe discomfort and weariness. I live with depth in my relationships, enjoying the abundance possible when there's transparency shared with loving, caring, supportive others.
Before recovery, more than eleven years ago, I was fraught with insecurities. I took life more seriously.
Now, I am clear about my boundaries. I am certain as to who I am and what I value and don't. When challenged by negative statements, like, "I don't care for you anymore," I take them in stride. Not long ago, such a comment would have had me tail-spinning in despair.
Because I do not take things personally, I can tune in with critics. I can hear their reality and their expressed needs. I can do this even if I disagree.
When confronted by disappointing information, I try to understand. I allow myself to be spacious enough to take in the bad news while remaining comfortable in my own skin, my reality. I have thick skin and a soft heart. Others do not define me or determine my moods.
That's it for tonight. I am beat. I'll work on this tomorrow. Please share your gratitudes.
Pablo,
ReplyDeleteProfound revelation from an amazing human
being. Thank you! You're so right. I learned a few things as I drove my
family down I-5 South to Disneyland. I realized that connecting with that felt
sense in a non-judgmental way is ok. I'm learning to honor
my emotions and needs, but what I learned most
Importantly is to stay with my emotions in a friendly,
non-judgmental way. I realized that from my childhood
that I did everything out of fear and guilt. I reacted to my
exterior environment, neglecting my inner self.
As I drove, I also was able to see my guilt and
shame from a distance. Today I had more compassion for
myself. My conditioning isn't my fault. My upbringing
is not my fault. Blame towards others or myself
doesn't help me either. What I can do is to continue
to listen to myself, others, and life without having
to ask questions, or the need to look or give answers.
Listening is loving.
Thank you.
Clark