Constructive communicating takes place when we do. Supportive and affirming dialog makes it likely others will listen. Ongoing practice develops our fluency with Nonviolent Communication, a language that does a world of good.
1. Often we think we express our feelings when we judge others. For example: "I feel you are disrespectful." That's a statement of that per-son's behavior, a judgment.
It is not expressing emotion. It is not saying we are angry, con-fused, or sad, which are feelings. It is a Faux Feeling, not a genuine statement of our emotions.
We express a hidden judgment. We draw close when using Faux Feelings, and stab an emotional knife blade in the ribs of the other's emotional safety. Faux feelings create distance and distrust.
If we use them say adios to that relationship.
In neither case is an emotion expressed. We are stating an opin-ion, a form of judgment. When we judge, we are not the experience.
When staying only within our thoughts, we are not present. Being pres-ent is being in the here and now. We are not allowing mental chatter to distract us from being attuned to what is happening.
Presence of mind happens when we are confident that we can handle any circumstance we face. This reveals we have emotional resiliency. We become situational surfers, handling any relational waves that slap at us when connecting with others.
For more information about nonviolent communication, here are two links: here and here.
How About You?
How easy is it for you, to be present, and express your feelings?
Other material you might want to read related to this nonviolent commun-ication: Expressing Feelings, Part I click here
Preferred is saying, "I am uncomfortable when we talk. I am unable to finish my sentences. I want balance in our con-versations.
Just as I let you finish before re-sponding, I want you to do the same for me."
2. Whenever a pronoun follows the word "feel," we express a thought. Same with the word "that." E.g., "I feel she is kind." Or "I feel that my life is exciting."In neither case is an emotion expressed. We are stating an opin-ion, a form of judgment. When we judge, we are not the experience.
Presence of mind happens when we are confident that we can handle any circumstance we face. This reveals we have emotional resiliency. We become situational surfers, handling any relational waves that slap at us when connecting with others.
For more information about nonviolent communication, here are two links: here and here.
How easy is it for you, to be present, and express your feelings?
Other material you might want to read related to this nonviolent commun-ication: Expressing Feelings, Part I click here
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