The Benefits of Being Gentle Towards Ourselves 1/30/12

“The six most important words: 'I admit I made a 
mistake.'   The five most important words:  'You
did a good job.' The four most important words: 
'What is your opinion?' The three most impor-
tant words: 'If you please.' The two most
 important words: 'Thank You.'  The one 
most important word: 'We.' The least
 important word: 'I.' ”   
Author Unknown
Image: The California coast: Point Reyes
I call this quote the Chalice of Perspective

       We can be thankful for difficult times.

       They allow us to practice patience.  Especially towards ourselves. Many of us were driven in our younger years.

       Frequently, our drive was prompt-ed by insecurities. We wanted approval. Now, we no longer need to be a circus dog, jumping through hoops of achievement to impress others.

        With recovery, we enjoy peace of mind.

        We draw healthier people into our lives.  Because we do, we experience unconditional love from people who are emotionally healthy.  We discover we are lovable, for being ourselves.

       This self-knowledge removes negative self-talk and emotional fragility that once defined us.  Hurray!
     

        When aware of areas needing growth, our compas-sionate ideal bestows acceptance, graciousness, patience, humor, gentleness towards the-less-than-best parts of ourselves.  The true ideal self is kind.  If our image of our ideal self is tyrannical, it is a counterfeit.

        Such a self only motivates us to hide areas needing growth.

        Kindness towards these vulnerable areas makes it likelier the darker areas of ourselves can be replaced with new and better qualities.

         We want to review the past month, six months, or year.   Appreci-ating the progress we've made contrib-utes towards an Attitude of Grati-tude.  Being patient towards areas needing growth is more constructive than self-blame and self judgment.

        Gentle self-acceptance makes healing and transformation more likely.  Harshness towards our warty selves, often makes these unpleasant areas retreat and hide.  When that happens, there's no chance for improvement.

       Being gracious towards ourselves has these benefits, too:

1. We're happier.
2. Depression ceases; condemning self becomes less frequent.

"Condemning my imper-fections has never enhanced my appreciation of life nor helped me to love myself more."  

               Courage to Change, page 19. 

3. As we become gentler towards ourselves, we're softer, kinder, towards others.  It's hard giving what we have not received.
                The Innkeeper